I haven't posted in FOREVER! But I was recently packing up my bedroom before my grandma moves. I came acrossed a notebook that I had written in many, many months ago. After re-reading the many pages, that night quickly came back to me. I was sittin' in my bed in tears. I didn't know what else to do so I wrote about it. Here's the.......letter, article, whatever it shall be. But it ISN'T a story. Keagan taught me that stories aren't true. And this is VERY true.
I'll never forget that day. The day Jaime jokingly asked me to go to Africa with her. The day I jokingly asked my mom if I could.
I expected a definent "NO!" Instead, much to my surprise, I got something along the lines of "yeah, let me call the school and make sure it won't interfer with you graduating." I remember it like it was yesterday. I ran outside to tell Jaime. I couldn't talk. I smiled and handed her my phone to read the text. We were both in shock. There was about 4 months between the day I got that text and the day we left. Pure torture.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Never in my life have I felt what I felt that day. I had never been on a plane. I'm not one to leave my comfort zone.
I haven't really posted much about that day. And it's heavy on my heart now so I figured I'd throw it out there.
We went and stayed with Uncle Barry the night before we flew out. I felt bad because I wasn't sad to be leaving. Yet I wasn't really excited either. I'm not sure what I was, but I was happy and I knew that's what I was supposed to be doing.
I didn't get much sleep that night, don't think Jaime did either. We were up nice and early to shower and get to the airport. I wasn't scared, I wasn't nervous, I wasn't excited. I just felt right.
Sittin' at the airport, I had no idea what to talk about. I had never been on a plane, never been out of the country. I had no idea what questions to ask.
When we got on the plane, I wasn't sittin' with Jaime. That worried me a little. First time flying and I wasn't sittin' with someone I knew. I discovered my love for flying. It's AMAZNG! Being over Columbus at 5 in the morning. It was beautiful. That flight was only 50 minutes. Then we were in D.C. The excitement hit me. I was going to AFRICA! I was going to make a difference. I, miss doesn't do anything crazy, was doing something crazy!!!
The next flight I was with Jaime. 12 hours. I kept tryin' to sleep and that just wasn't happening. I was too excited.
Gettin off the plane, I didn't know what to expect. It looked likeI was walkin' off the plane into a huge field. When actually what was hidden behind that airport proved me wrong. After Visa and Immigration, we got our luggage and headed out to find Levi. All I could see was a huge mass of Ethiopians. And all of a sudden I heard, "There he is!" Jaime had found him. In the mix of people we stood. And out of nowhere came Abel and Hana. And I turned around and there was Yonatan. Had they been there the whole time or did they have specail powers? I still wonder.
That's when I saw what the airport had hid from me. The huge city, Addis Ababa. I still think I say it wrong but that's besides the point. The city looked like our city. Just a little less.......nice? It was nice in it's own way. Kinda homey feeling. I liked it.
We made our way to Levi and Jessie's house. It was AMAZING. In the states you would have to be rich to have that nice of a place. We all went out for pizza. Most of you are probably thinkin', "okay she's in a foreign country and she's eating pizza?!" Well let me tell ya. It wasn't like any pizza I had ever had. It wasn't bad, just different.
Jaime and I met up with Abel. And of course he had us walking miles. Keep in mind we were severely jet lagged. I actually had to tell Jaime what we did that day. She didn't remember.
I can't go day to day on what we did because honestly, I don't remember every day. It was all too much crammed into a short time period.
We visited another American family that had a daycare place. There was so many cute kids. I just wanted to take them with me. There was a younger boy that had cerebral palsy. All he could do was lay on his belly. He was adorable and I just wanted to hold him.
Jaime and I went to KUI orphanage. We got to help feed the babies and play with the toddlers. That's when I met Twinkle. I walked in the door and this boy and girl ran right up to me. I sat down, one on each leg. The girl played and got up a few times. Twinkle just looked at me and smiled. He had his one toy and made me squeeze it so it would sing. I had a hair tie on my wrist, he played with it and held my hand between his tiny little hands. I fell in love.
Later that night we were out on one of the balconies and Jaime asked me, "What's on your mind? Tell me what you're thinking about." It's almost like she knew my mind was raacing. I thought a million times on what to say. I couldn't come up with anything but the truth, "The boy at the orphanage." I almost felt crazy having cared so much about him. I was reassured that it wasn't crazy, "I figured."
Nights out on the balconies were probably my favorite part of the trip. The times when it was just me and Jaime and we could have heart to heart over the night sounds. I tried to find words to thank her for bringing me and letting me experience this with her, but she beat me to it. "I'm glad you are here with me." I wish I could take you all to that moment. The moment when everything seemed perfect. I was speechless. All I could do was hug her and say, "It's all thanks to you."
We drug poor Yonatan to Asosa. A tiny little place, a 55 minute flight from Addis. So close to the Sahara that the ground was nothing but red sand and beautiful green shrubs and trees. I was sick my whole time there but I still had a great time. Got to meet the greatest group of kids ever. They pretended to be ninjas and monkeys and did anything just to have our attention. We had bouncy balloons that ended up busted. Monster trucks that ended up tireless. Sticky hands that ended up covered in sand. But we also had 5 beautiful smiles. And that made it all worth it. We continued to visit them the 3 days we were there. Another little boy had stolen my heart, Z-man.
He kept crouching down and motioning me to do the same. He wanted a piggy-back ride. Once he was on my back, he would say something that sounded like "Tennessee", I knew from stories, that meant "up." We did that routine for hours.
When it came time to leave there, I was heart broken. I didn't wanna leave them.
Back in Addis, we only had a couple more days before we headed home. Those days seemed to fly by, unfortunently.
The night we flew out was terrible. I didn't wanna leave. As I sat in the airport waiting for our flight, I was on my ipod telling my mom and best friend I was bout to head home. I held back tears. I didn't wanna head home. I wasn't done with my trip. It wasn't long enough.
I held it together for Jaime and so I didn't humiliate myself in the airport. But what I realla wanted to do was get down on my knees and cry, plea, ask God "Why me?" "Why here?" "Why do I have to leave my heart here?" "Why can't I love a place a little closer to home?"
I fought tears loading onto the plane. Neither of us spoke. We didn't need to. We were feeling the same thing.
The plane ride was miserable. I don't know if it really was or if it was just because I was broken. My heart was left shattered in the airport.
It wasn't until we landed in D.C. again that it kicked in. I was heading home to my family and Thanksgiving dinner. My heart was lifted ever so slightly.
The farther it gets from the time I was there, the more I miss it. On random nights I just think about it and fight tears. I thought writing this would help get this off my chest. But honestly, I think I could scream it from Mt. Everest and not feel any better. So until I get back there, you guys get these post <3
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Venting. feel free to skip :)
For those of you who, for some reason decided to read this, don't know why I have the need to vent. Well, I'm helping watch a bossy, yet cute, 4 yr old and a smart, yet blonde, 6 yr old while Momma Jay is in Africa. Until April 6th!!!!
Before I start I must add that between all of the fun stuff, I was cleaning and doing dishes and laundry. Because I'm nice like that. And I got occasional, out of the blue, messages from Jaime everyday which kinda reassured me on why I was doing all of this and that I could do it. She just took weight off my shoulders when she talked to me (she don't know it though).
So, Day 1: Went better than expected. No crying. No attitude. Completely held together, even happy to say "Mommy is in Efiopia!" I laid in bed with Keagan til she was asleep and then a very worn out Miss Ashley hit the hay at like 8 something haha crazy. I know. Nothing really major happened ( that I remember). After all I had woke up at 1 to say bye to momma.
The emotion (from me) on Day 1: It's never easy to let someone you really care about leave to go far away for a long time. But I managed. Hugs goodbye (a couple cause I knew I wouldn't get any for a while) and "I love you"s.
Then I made myself not watch her walk out the door (that's the hardest part). I'd say I was only sad because she was leaving but I'd be lying. I was also sad because I wasn't going. I miss the great people I met over there. I miss the smell, the weather, the views. Oh the views!!!! It was also hard for me because the whole first day she was on a plane so I didn't get to talk to her. I'm Keagan's comfort but Momma is mine.
Day 2( first day back to school since mommy left): Early mornings suck! Mamo was up and ready and watching for the bus half an hour before it was expected. Oh that boy. Keagan was up all night the previous night (sorry Drew) so she was sooooo not ready for school. After the kids were gone I got motivated to write my previous blog. Keagan came home and we watched some Spongebob and snuggled. Mamo came home and did homework and what not. Then we all went outside
and played a nice game of basketball and soccer. We might have even played them at the same time. We are not normal after all :) Then the best part came....... are you ready? We watched Puss in Boots!!!!! Yeah I was a bit excited for that. Little ones go to bed and big ones play. Well watch Mirrors actually. Got scared (tired was our excuse) and went to bed. Oh and while we were outside I took a nice little video of the little ones telling mommy they miss and love her.
Day 3: Another early morning. Keagan stayed home because the bus didn't run today. Got to deal with her needy, bossy little butt. lol. Played outside and watched some more Spongebob. Mamo came home and homework and stuff. Then outside we went. Because it's nice and the kids need to lose their energy if I plan on keeping up. Currently we are all eatiing pizza and guess what....... watching Spongebob. Got a message today from Mom wanting to Skype tomorrow :) Kids in bed and Miss Ashley following.
Emotions of Day 3: Seems like everyday I think of something different. Today my focus was on Twinkle. That's not his name but he's a little boy I connected with at an orphanage on my trip. We call him Twinkle because he had a little toy that sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star when you would squeeze it. Twinkle couldn't squeeze it hard enough so he had me doing it. Repetitively.
He held my hand the whole time I was there. He would rub it and then hold it between both of his. Precious.
Day 4: Woke up and checked my phone. Text from Mom :))) Boys got ready fine. Keagan, who had stayed up late watching a movie with Daddy, was tired and making every excuse to stay home. "I have a funny taste in my mouth and my tummy hurts." She even used the excuse "That toothpaste was hot." After all was said and done, she didn't get her way and went to school. I was a slacker today and didn't do much cleaning. I'm gonna make up for it while the kids play outside. Just when I thought I was gonna lose my mind.
Before I start I must add that between all of the fun stuff, I was cleaning and doing dishes and laundry. Because I'm nice like that. And I got occasional, out of the blue, messages from Jaime everyday which kinda reassured me on why I was doing all of this and that I could do it. She just took weight off my shoulders when she talked to me (she don't know it though).
So, Day 1: Went better than expected. No crying. No attitude. Completely held together, even happy to say "Mommy is in Efiopia!" I laid in bed with Keagan til she was asleep and then a very worn out Miss Ashley hit the hay at like 8 something haha crazy. I know. Nothing really major happened ( that I remember). After all I had woke up at 1 to say bye to momma.
The emotion (from me) on Day 1: It's never easy to let someone you really care about leave to go far away for a long time. But I managed. Hugs goodbye (a couple cause I knew I wouldn't get any for a while) and "I love you"s.
Then I made myself not watch her walk out the door (that's the hardest part). I'd say I was only sad because she was leaving but I'd be lying. I was also sad because I wasn't going. I miss the great people I met over there. I miss the smell, the weather, the views. Oh the views!!!! It was also hard for me because the whole first day she was on a plane so I didn't get to talk to her. I'm Keagan's comfort but Momma is mine.
Day 2( first day back to school since mommy left): Early mornings suck! Mamo was up and ready and watching for the bus half an hour before it was expected. Oh that boy. Keagan was up all night the previous night (sorry Drew) so she was sooooo not ready for school. After the kids were gone I got motivated to write my previous blog. Keagan came home and we watched some Spongebob and snuggled. Mamo came home and did homework and what not. Then we all went outside
Mamo showing off his Ethiopian skills
Keagan posing pretty for Mommy.
Mamo's idea of a good picture for Mommy.
and played a nice game of basketball and soccer. We might have even played them at the same time. We are not normal after all :) Then the best part came....... are you ready? We watched Puss in Boots!!!!! Yeah I was a bit excited for that. Little ones go to bed and big ones play. Well watch Mirrors actually. Got scared (tired was our excuse) and went to bed. Oh and while we were outside I took a nice little video of the little ones telling mommy they miss and love her.
2 days down and the kids aren't the only ones excited ;)
Emotions Day 2: I started missing Africa more than I was missing Mom. lol. For the few of you who have been there, you understand. Don't you? I was jealous. I was envying the ones that got to go. I started thinking about my favorite place, Abel's balcony at night. It's beautiful. The place where it seemed like the rushing stopped and I got to stop and spend time with Mom. We didn't talk much there but it didn't matter. The scenery spoke for us. Hopefully she thinks of those nights while she's there now.
Emotions of Day 3: Seems like everyday I think of something different. Today my focus was on Twinkle. That's not his name but he's a little boy I connected with at an orphanage on my trip. We call him Twinkle because he had a little toy that sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star when you would squeeze it. Twinkle couldn't squeeze it hard enough so he had me doing it. Repetitively.
(This isn't my picture but I chose it because I had the same hair tie on my wrist that he played with)
He held my hand the whole time I was there. He would rub it and then hold it between both of his. Precious.
Day 4: Woke up and checked my phone. Text from Mom :))) Boys got ready fine. Keagan, who had stayed up late watching a movie with Daddy, was tired and making every excuse to stay home. "I have a funny taste in my mouth and my tummy hurts." She even used the excuse "That toothpaste was hot." After all was said and done, she didn't get her way and went to school. I was a slacker today and didn't do much cleaning. I'm gonna make up for it while the kids play outside. Just when I thought I was gonna lose my mind.
Mamo: Miss Ashley can I have some crackers?
Me: Yeah. Sure buddy. I'll get ya some.
Mamo: Thank you! You are so nice!
Me:Your welcome...........*speechless*
Is this how being a parent is? When you are bout to hang the kids by their toenails, they do something sweet. Like pick you a flower.
Daddy Drew came home and I let him have control while I got my break and finished watching Mirrors with Cole. Actually finished it this time. Got a call from Uncle Barry. Then bed
Emotions of Day 4: Haven't talked to Mom today. Probably won't seeing as how it's 1am there. This may sound weird but I feel way more down and stressed since I haven't talked to her. I honestly don't know why either. Call from Uncle Barry kinda helped my day. Just little things like that make my day.
Day 5: Got woke up at 2am by Keagan,
"Miss Ashley...... Miss Ashley...... We forgot to mark off the calenderrrr."
"We will do it in the morning. Like actual morning. Go lay with Daddy"
Then the storm woke me up. CRACK BANG BOOM. yeah. the good stuff.
Got up with the kids getting ready for school and me and Keagan marked off the calendar. Kids are at school so I took a shower. Was sittin on my bed and the lights went out, thunder cracked and sounded like the house was gonna cave in. Lights came on and I went downstairs. It started hailing. Jeez it's gonna be a long day. Keagan is home and it's still storming. Packing clothes for the weekend cause the kids are headed to Mamaw's!!!! And Ashley is headed home for the weekend. Well around 5:30 but still. I'm excited. I feel slightly bad being excited to go home but after a long week, I need some quiet :) I won't be updating the weekends unless it's one we all stay home. Which is possible.
Emotions of Day 5: My relaxer today is music.
And Dr Phil because he just happens to be on TV at the moment. Seems like the days are going slower than molasses in January. Not this January because it wasn't cold. But a normal January. Gotta keep telling myself. " Ashley you go home tomorrow night and you are gonna get some you time and see some people who are gonna make you forget about it all and enjoy yourself." I have definitely learned a lot this week. Like how I thought Mom was already my Hero, but after I have done what she does all the time, She's definitely stronger than I had thought. She's like superwoman. And she told me I will understand why she takes so many baths. Well I have. Hot showers are my favorite thing right now. Me time :)
BTW, I recieved a message from mom over the weekend :))))) They had been in Dessie and were back in Addis for a while. Then back to Dessie to start the safe house!!!
Day 9: Wake up, kids ready for school, kids on buses. The usual morning that I'm sure you are tired of hearing. Another hot shower :) And some quiet time before the crazy one gets home at noon.Keagan came home, cartoons. Mamo came home, homework then outside. Neighbor kids came over and played. Had grill food for dinner :) We sat together and ate while watching Two and a Half Men. Yeah, family time. Kids in bed and I lay down and watch Swamp People on my iPod :)
Emotions: I had realized the weekend definitely helped me get back to normal. I kinda took some weight off my own shoulders by not pushing myself to do a million things at once. I let the house get a little dirtier than last week and I ignored the 5 year old coming out in Keagan. That helped a lot.
Day 10: Got woke up at like 4 by my phone. "Jaime Glandon posted on your timeline." :) Talked to her for a sec and then fell back asleep. Slept in just a bit more than I usually so. I feel much better though. Not tired and wore out like normal. Kids off to school. And I'm just relaxing. It's gonna be a hot one again today :( Was 80 degrees IN THE HOUSE last night.Keagan is home and she's been running around with daddy. She smells like the outside :) Mamo will be home soon and I've been given the duty of picking Cole up from track. Then maybe I'll talk him into taking the kids to the park. Enjoy the weather. Oh yeah, Happy Spring! Picked Cole up from track. Took kids to park. Too full. Took kids to BK with a play place. Kids are showered and ready for bed :)
Emotions: I had a relaxing day and enjoyed taking the kids out and about. I don't really have much to say right now. Brain overload
Day 11: The safe house in Dessie is accepting girls!!!!!! They will now have a home, a bed, food and clean water. How awesome is that?! I'm done posting the whole morning routine because it's always the same. Kids are home and little Miss Keagan is seeing how far she can push me. She is in her room and quiet so I'm worried. I'm gonna start reading Eat Pray Love. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll finish it before Mom gets home.The kids got to go to the neighbors house for a little. I relaxed and talked to some very important people. We had pizza and then watched tv til bed time. Another 80 degree night so I didn't get much sleep.
Emotions: I've decided it's hard to blog when the kids are home or awake. And I've decided I don't want a girl. They are so stressful. I thought today was gonna be a "Sad Free Day." Well it's not. I miss my momma. :( As I fight tears, I laugh. I have her emotions. :)
Day 12: Woke up to a few things from Mom. Hopefully Skyping with her sometime today. She leaves for Dessie tomorrow. The rest of the team landed there today :) The kids got to go to a birthday party and they had a bast in the bouncies. While Cole, Drew and I had fun in the arcade :) Didn't get to skype with mom :(
Emotions: They were completely crazy. Was really emotional with missing mom and all. Was nice getting out of the house though.
Day 13: Keagan didn't have school today so we goofed off outside and I let her go picture crazy. Mamo is home and doing homework. We will be venturing out to pick Cole up from track soon. Then when Drew gets off at 7, I'll be heading home.
Emotions of Day 4: Haven't talked to Mom today. Probably won't seeing as how it's 1am there. This may sound weird but I feel way more down and stressed since I haven't talked to her. I honestly don't know why either. Call from Uncle Barry kinda helped my day. Just little things like that make my day.
Day 5: Got woke up at 2am by Keagan,
"Miss Ashley...... Miss Ashley...... We forgot to mark off the calenderrrr."
"We will do it in the morning. Like actual morning. Go lay with Daddy"
Then the storm woke me up. CRACK BANG BOOM. yeah. the good stuff.
Got up with the kids getting ready for school and me and Keagan marked off the calendar. Kids are at school so I took a shower. Was sittin on my bed and the lights went out, thunder cracked and sounded like the house was gonna cave in. Lights came on and I went downstairs. It started hailing. Jeez it's gonna be a long day. Keagan is home and it's still storming. Packing clothes for the weekend cause the kids are headed to Mamaw's!!!! And Ashley is headed home for the weekend. Well around 5:30 but still. I'm excited. I feel slightly bad being excited to go home but after a long week, I need some quiet :) I won't be updating the weekends unless it's one we all stay home. Which is possible.
Emotions of Day 5: My relaxer today is music.
And Dr Phil because he just happens to be on TV at the moment. Seems like the days are going slower than molasses in January. Not this January because it wasn't cold. But a normal January. Gotta keep telling myself. " Ashley you go home tomorrow night and you are gonna get some you time and see some people who are gonna make you forget about it all and enjoy yourself." I have definitely learned a lot this week. Like how I thought Mom was already my Hero, but after I have done what she does all the time, She's definitely stronger than I had thought. She's like superwoman. And she told me I will understand why she takes so many baths. Well I have. Hot showers are my favorite thing right now. Me time :)
*insert weekend fun here.*
BTW, I recieved a message from mom over the weekend :))))) They had been in Dessie and were back in Addis for a while. Then back to Dessie to start the safe house!!!
Day 9: Wake up, kids ready for school, kids on buses. The usual morning that I'm sure you are tired of hearing. Another hot shower :) And some quiet time before the crazy one gets home at noon.Keagan came home, cartoons. Mamo came home, homework then outside. Neighbor kids came over and played. Had grill food for dinner :) We sat together and ate while watching Two and a Half Men. Yeah, family time. Kids in bed and I lay down and watch Swamp People on my iPod :)
Emotions: I had realized the weekend definitely helped me get back to normal. I kinda took some weight off my own shoulders by not pushing myself to do a million things at once. I let the house get a little dirtier than last week and I ignored the 5 year old coming out in Keagan. That helped a lot.
Day 10: Got woke up at like 4 by my phone. "Jaime Glandon posted on your timeline." :) Talked to her for a sec and then fell back asleep. Slept in just a bit more than I usually so. I feel much better though. Not tired and wore out like normal. Kids off to school. And I'm just relaxing. It's gonna be a hot one again today :( Was 80 degrees IN THE HOUSE last night.Keagan is home and she's been running around with daddy. She smells like the outside :) Mamo will be home soon and I've been given the duty of picking Cole up from track. Then maybe I'll talk him into taking the kids to the park. Enjoy the weather. Oh yeah, Happy Spring! Picked Cole up from track. Took kids to park. Too full. Took kids to BK with a play place. Kids are showered and ready for bed :)
Emotions: I had a relaxing day and enjoyed taking the kids out and about. I don't really have much to say right now. Brain overload
Day 11: The safe house in Dessie is accepting girls!!!!!! They will now have a home, a bed, food and clean water. How awesome is that?! I'm done posting the whole morning routine because it's always the same. Kids are home and little Miss Keagan is seeing how far she can push me. She is in her room and quiet so I'm worried. I'm gonna start reading Eat Pray Love. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll finish it before Mom gets home.The kids got to go to the neighbors house for a little. I relaxed and talked to some very important people. We had pizza and then watched tv til bed time. Another 80 degree night so I didn't get much sleep.
Emotions: I've decided it's hard to blog when the kids are home or awake. And I've decided I don't want a girl. They are so stressful. I thought today was gonna be a "Sad Free Day." Well it's not. I miss my momma. :( As I fight tears, I laugh. I have her emotions. :)
Day 12: Woke up to a few things from Mom. Hopefully Skyping with her sometime today. She leaves for Dessie tomorrow. The rest of the team landed there today :) The kids got to go to a birthday party and they had a bast in the bouncies. While Cole, Drew and I had fun in the arcade :) Didn't get to skype with mom :(
Emotions: They were completely crazy. Was really emotional with missing mom and all. Was nice getting out of the house though.
Day 13: Keagan didn't have school today so we goofed off outside and I let her go picture crazy. Mamo is home and doing homework. We will be venturing out to pick Cole up from track soon. Then when Drew gets off at 7, I'll be heading home.
Oh wow. Where do I start?
I took a break. I'm back now though. So all is well. It is now Day 19. I came back yesterday. Nothing exciting. Back to the routine.
Day 19: School for the kids. Small break for me. Then to Keagan's school for some Kindergarten thing. I spent time with my best friend during that. A texted my new Aunt Layla all day which is freakin sweet! Drew a buncha pictures. Kids run around outside. Pick Cole up. Eat leftover pizza. Back outside.
For those of you who actually read this, I'm not gonna be posting anything for a while. Nothing to be said really. Mom comes home friday and I'm very happy about that. So for now, Fair well my blogger pals.
For those of you who actually read this, I'm not gonna be posting anything for a while. Nothing to be said really. Mom comes home friday and I'm very happy about that. So for now, Fair well my blogger pals.
Monday, March 12, 2012
'Why?' 'Why not is a better question'
People always ask us,
"Why do you do it?"
(Their kids are their pride & joy, but should they have to harm themselves to take care of them?)
Well let me make the situation easier for you to understand.
Many of you know at least one of the members of the BEMM team (if you don't, you should).
Well imagine THEY were one of the mothers in the sponsorship that BEMM helps.
(some of the mothers in the sponsorship.)
Homeless, jobless and with a child or maybe many.
Now imagine them selling their bodies to random guys just so they will have money for their kid's next meal.
Would you want someone you care about going through that?
I would hope not.
( They belong to Him, not them.)
But neither do we.
We care about these mothers and our BEMM members.
Neither should have to go about their lives in this manner.
If the BEMM team was stuck in Africa, in the same position as these mothers, would you try to help?
Or would you just ask us,
"Why?"
If you answered "try to help" well I'll show you how.
Click the link below if you would like to donate to BEMM.
Click the link below to go to the BEMM Facebook page. Like them and check out how they are doing
And if you aren't convinced yet, I'll let David use his powerful words now.
I gave my best and that's the best I have.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Essay I wrote for my English final exam
The topic for the essay was an event in our life that has significantly changed who we are. Knowing me, I was beyond excited for this to be the topic. I could write a lot with it. It's not much but I was very proud of myself.
An event in my life that has significantly changed who I am is when I went to Africa. On November 18th, 2011 I flew to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia with a close friend. Up until this point in my life I had never done anything or went anywhere that took me out of my comfort zone. This trip ended up changing me completely. I went from never traveling to flying 7,000 miles from home. Found out I love flying. I had never stayed away from family for two weeks straight. Found out it's nice to take a break. But most of all, I went from being a girl who had a huge heart but had no idea what to do with it to having found where my heart belongs.
The children in Africa aren't just the sad little faces you see starving and crying on your television set. They are beautiful, bright eyed and big smiled children. Each one of them have their own personality like you and I. They are human like us all. They love to play and have your attention. If you aren't smiling around them then you aren't doing something right. Jaime and I flew to Asosa, Ethiopia for two special kids.
These two kids, Pearl and Bereket, were already a huge part of Jaime's life from past trips. I had heard so much about them. Her big eyes and his captivating smile. I hasn't met them yet so they were just kids in a story to me. That day we flew out to see them was pretty exciting for us both. Her getting to see the kids who never leave her heart and me getting to meet them. We walked to the orphanage and as we knocked on the gate you could peer through a little crack and see nothing but red sand and a few kids frozen with puzzled looks on their faces. But the Gate Opener, Pearl, was running. As soon as she opened it I knew exactly who she was. The big beautiful eyes gave it away. Then along came the handsome Bereket. Yet again, I knew exactly who he was. After spending three days with the five kids (others have to go unnamed due to Ethiopian law) I realized why I jumped off my comfort wagon and boarded Ethiopian Airline.
Leaving this place was the worst goodbye I had ever faced. Even worse than waving goodbye to my dad as he headed two states away. I had formed a bond with Addis Ababa. A bond you wouldn't understand until you experienced it yourself. From the second you arrive to the second you leave, you are welcomed like it is your home. I often forgot I was in Africa.
As you can tell, this trip meant a lot to me. It changed who I was. I no longer complain "I'm hungry" or "My room is too small." When I lay down at night I don't think "Well tomorrow is school." I think "I miss them. I wonder if they are okay. If they are still there." I look forward to the day I get to see my little brother and sister again. They changed me into a more mature and understanding person. I have seen things most people would avoid. I long for this beautiful place.
I may have went a little overboard for just a school essay but my heart and soul is in that. I liked it and decided I would share. And I would love feedback :)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
The after math
Aside from the jet lag and sore throat from the burst of coldness I was greeted by, I wanted to write a little bit about my trip.
The trip that changed my perspective on everything in life.
The whole plane ride from the states my eyes were glued to the cute little screen on the seat in front of me which showed me where we were at the time. I wasn't even nervous about going to a foreign country where I won't be able to understand anything. After maybe 20 attempts of sleeping and only 2 hours of sleep we finally got close enough I could stay awake and watch us land.
I walked off the plane feeling...well, very tired. (Thank you all the delt with me that day. lol.) We did a little running here and there and seeing this person and that person and I'm lucky to remember any of it. I was just soaking everything in.
Sitting at the airport waiting to fly home was the hardest part of it all. Sitting there waiting for the plane to board and all these things running through your head. "I'm leaving these amazing people" "Why cant I do more?" "When will I be back?" "Will they still be here?" "Why does it hurt so bad when I know I'm going home to my family?" I fought back tears knowing if I broke down, Jaime would break down and that would just make a big scene in the middle of the airport.
The trip that changed my perspective on everything in life.
Vroom Vroom
The whole plane ride from the states my eyes were glued to the cute little screen on the seat in front of me which showed me where we were at the time. I wasn't even nervous about going to a foreign country where I won't be able to understand anything. After maybe 20 attempts of sleeping and only 2 hours of sleep we finally got close enough I could stay awake and watch us land.
I walked off the plane feeling...well, very tired. (Thank you all the delt with me that day. lol.) We did a little running here and there and seeing this person and that person and I'm lucky to remember any of it. I was just soaking everything in.
Welcome to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
The next day was when the amazingness finally soaked in. Africa is beautiful. The people are beautiful. I miss it already. I'm sitting in my lab at school and wishing I was there. I miss the smiles on the kids faces when we walked in the orphanges. I miss the feeling it gave me to see them happy. 
This picture is just from the web because I can't post pictures of the actual kids.
They deserve that more often. I really dont know what to post. but I had an amazing time and with the work of God I'll be going back soon :) I finally got to meet the kids my 2nd family adores so much. And guess what? I don't blame them. They are adorable, smart, funny and even though you can't understand a slight bit of what they are saying they still make you smile. They are meant for soooo much more. Each one with their own little talents and things they love to show you. They do just about anything to have your attention. If even for a second they have someone watching them, smiling at them, saying "Good Job!" That makes their day so much better. Simple little things like teaching them to wink. which by the way is super cute. :)Sitting at the airport waiting to fly home was the hardest part of it all. Sitting there waiting for the plane to board and all these things running through your head. "I'm leaving these amazing people" "Why cant I do more?" "When will I be back?" "Will they still be here?" "Why does it hurt so bad when I know I'm going home to my family?" I fought back tears knowing if I broke down, Jaime would break down and that would just make a big scene in the middle of the airport.
The place where emotions spin.
Plane ride home was much worse than the one there. People kicking my seat, kids screaming. Just completely uncomfortable. Mind racing, heart aching, and on top of that I had already watched all the movies on the flight in.lol. Once we got to Washington it sank in that I was going to be going home to the amazing Thanksgiving dinner my lovely grandma waited to make til I got home. Never in my life was I so happy to hear Christmas music. It's usually totally annoying but sitting at the airport hearing it made me slightly happy, relaxed.
The song that stuck in my head
Praying for my little PB&J until I see them again.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Senior year
I'm not much of a writer but I'm gonna wing this and see what my little brain can come up with. It's almost a month into my senior year and already feels like a year. College. My least favorite thing to even think about. Where to go? What to take? When to start? Too much for me. Africa. Who? Why? When? How long? Those are questions i get daily and can answer ( after telling a long story) fairly easily. Is it November yet? I've never been one to rush on the cold weather but this year I am. Africa. I can paint the picture in my head. Airport. Plane. Bestfriend/mom beside me goin crazy. lol the smell, or what I assume it smells like. The feeling I get as I right this. Increased heart beat and butterflies. Not nervous butterflies but excited butterflies. This is all new to me. Passport? Never woulda imagined I'd need one. Especially not at 17. My brain is on over drive. School, college junk and moving on after school. Only time I get to stop. Take a deep breath. Think. Africa. That's the only thing I'm even sure of right now. Yeah I go to school but the days a blur by 4. Yeah I need to figure out college but I'd rather not. But Africa, nothing about it shouts out and mathematical equations or long passages about tires and oils. Boring I know. I guess it's just a relaxing subject for me. Africa. Puts a smile on my face and yet an ache in my heart. Haven't even been there and I'm already in love. I guess I have Jaime to thank for that. :)
If this bored you I'm very sorry. I tried. That's all I can do
If this bored you I'm very sorry. I tried. That's all I can do
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
This amazing love
I am terrible at putting my feelings into words so I tend to look online for things. I was just fiddlefarting around and found this song.
When He put me in this world
When He chose you as my mother
He sure made it right
He made it just right
Cause you love me in a way
That's not like any other
It must be a part of Heaven's design
This amazing love
Has arms that reach to hold me
Has hands that shape and mold me
And wipe away my tears
There's a place inside your heart
That feels like home to me
Where this amazing love is what I need
With a faith in things unseen
On these wings of gentle spirit
I rest in your prayers
At the end of each day
Covered by your love
I can face my future, not fear it
Learning to stand
On my own feet of clay
God is good and Jesus loves me
I know these words are true
Cause He said," just as a mother comforts, so I will comfort you"
There's a cold that comes in winter
With a fire that love sustains
Where a mothers touch and the hand of God
They somehow feel the same
This amazing love
Has arms that reach to hold me
Has hands that shape and mold me
And wipes away my tears
There's a place inside your heart
That feels like home to me
Where your amazing love
Gods amazing love
This amazing love is all I need.
I love you mom.I know this doesn't compare to ur post about me but u really do mean the world to me.
When He put me in this world
When He chose you as my mother
He sure made it right
He made it just right
Cause you love me in a way
That's not like any other
It must be a part of Heaven's design
This amazing love
Has arms that reach to hold me
Has hands that shape and mold me
And wipe away my tears
There's a place inside your heart
That feels like home to me
Where this amazing love is what I need
With a faith in things unseen
On these wings of gentle spirit
I rest in your prayers
At the end of each day
Covered by your love
I can face my future, not fear it
Learning to stand
On my own feet of clay
God is good and Jesus loves me
I know these words are true
Cause He said," just as a mother comforts, so I will comfort you"
There's a cold that comes in winter
With a fire that love sustains
Where a mothers touch and the hand of God
They somehow feel the same
This amazing love
Has arms that reach to hold me
Has hands that shape and mold me
And wipes away my tears
There's a place inside your heart
That feels like home to me
Where your amazing love
Gods amazing love
This amazing love is all I need.
I love you mom.I know this doesn't compare to ur post about me but u really do mean the world to me.
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